Even at the symphony he couldn't forget that when another audience member stood near him, that person's rear end was perilously close to his face, and that if the person were to fart, the results would be right there in front of him: he would be breathing them in before he knew it. There would be nothing he could do, except raise the scarf he perpetually wore for such purposes, and breathe through it.
Maybe he carries one of those little battery-powered fans for just such occasions?
Howthehell are you? I've missed reading your posts, would love to keep in contact. I started a new blog on wordpress.com, there's a link to it on my live journal.
Remember the duct tape wallet? My leather wallet jumped in the pool with me, and I've been using yours for over a year. It looks even cooler after being repeatedly stuffed into pockets. My wife cringes when I whip it out (the wallet) in public, but it has so much character. Thanks again for the gift.
I love your fan idea.
Delighted you still use the wallet!
Well, I've been unblogged for a year or so because I wrote a novel draft every spare minute. Or wait, did facebook have a part to play? I think it did. Will look up your new blog - thanks for hanging in there!